Wasting Money Like an Idiot First
So yeah, I really wanted to make this beans bourguignon thing. Sounded fancy, right? Saw it online and figured, how hard can it be? Grabbed my keys, drove straight to that overpriced fancy grocery store downtown. You know the one.
Started chucking stuff into my basket like there was no tomorrow. Fancy dried beans in the tiny pouch? Three bags. Six bucks each. “Gourmet” smoked bacon? Five slabs. Fancy beef stock in the glass jar? Two of ’em. Fresh thyme? Parsley? Yeah, grabbed those too. Didn’t even look at prices.
Reality Check at the Register
Scanned my loyalty card. Smiled at the cashier. Then the total popped up. Forty-three dollars and seventy-eight cents. For ONE POT OF BEANS? Felt my face get hot. Paid anyway. Like an idiot. Drove home feeling kinda stupid.
Stuck everything on the counter. Looked at it. Six bucks for a tiny bag of beans? Nonsense. That fancy stock? Ridiculous. Knew I got played. That fancy experience tax? Paid it. Full price.
Time for the Cheap Version
Decided right then: Screw that. Gonna make this again. But cheap. Used up the fancy stuff first, obviously. It was… fine. Tasted good. But FORTY BUCKS? Nope.
A few weeks later, paycheck was looking tight. Perfect time. Hit my regular, cheap supermarket. Grabbed:
- A huge bag of dried beans (like, 2 pounds maybe? Who cares, it was $2.50).
- A cheap pack of bacon ends (not the pretty strips, the ugly bits – $3.99).
- Two cans of plain beef broth ($1.50 each).
- A little jar of dried thyme (had it forever, practically free).
Let’s Cook This Cheap Crap
Got home. Chopped an onion I already had. Chopped some carrot, too. Garlic? Crushed a couple cloves.
Chopped up that cheap bacon real small. Fried it in my old pot. Didn’t need fancy oil, the bacon fat was perfect. Scooped out the crispy bits, left the grease. Threw in the onion, carrot, garlic. Sweated them down.
Poured in those two cans of cheap broth. Dumped in like… maybe 300 grams of the cheap dried beans? Didn’t measure. Just looked like enough. Added the bacon bits. Shook in probably a teaspoon of dried thyme. Salt. Pepper.
Brought it to a boil. Covered it. Turned the heat way down low. Just let it sit there and bubble softly for like two damn hours. Checked it once. Stirred it. Went back to watching TV.
The Big Cheap Reveal
Time’s up. Sniffed it. Smelled amazing. Spooned out a big serving. Beans were tender. Sauce was thick and kinda glossy. Bacon all soft and smoky. Took a bite. Tasted basically the same as my forty-dollar nonsense pot. Seriously. Deep, rich, beany, bacony. Hearty as hell.
Sat there eating it, kinda annoyed. Annoyed at myself mostly. All that fancy stuff? Unnecessary fluff. Forget about it. You need:
- Dried beans (cheap bag).
- Some bacon (the cheap fatty bits work BEST).
- Onion, Carrot, Garlic (supermarket basics).
- Cheap beef broth.
- Dried thyme.
- Salt and pepper.
- Time to simmer.
That’s it. Don’t be like me. Don’t pay the idiot tax. Cook cheap. Eat good.
