Alright, listen up, y’all. We’re gonna talk about buildin’ yourself one of them fancy outdoor kitchens, the kind with them green egg cookers. Don’t go gettin’ all flustered now, it ain’t as hard as milkin’ a cow with one hand tied behind your back. We’ll keep it simple, like makin’ biscuits on a Sunday mornin’.
First off, you gotta figure out where you’re gonna put this here kitchen. Don’t go stickin’ it right next to the outhouse, for goodness sake! Find a nice spot, maybe under a shade tree, so you ain’t sweatin’ like a pig in July when you’re cookin’ up a storm. You need a flat space, or you’ll be chasing sausages downhill.
Now, about them green eggs. I seen folks with one, and I seen folks with two. Heck, I even seen a fella with three, but he had more kids than a stray dog has fleas. If it’s just you and the mister, one might be enough. But if you got a whole passel of grandkids comin’ over every weekend, you might wanna think about gettin’ two. They come in different sizes too, big and small, like watermelons. You gotta decide what’s right for your needs.
- Big green egg, small green egg, whatever you pick, just make sure it fits where you want it.
- If you’re gettin’ more cookin’ stuff, like them flat griddles for makin’ pancakes, you gotta plan for that too.
- Make sure there’s enough room for everything, or you’ll be bangin’ elbows like a couple of angry roosters.
Next, you gotta think about what you’re gonna build this kitchen out of. Some folks use bricks, some use wood, some use them fancy stones that look like they come from the moon. Me? I like good ol’ wood. It’s easy to work with, and it smells nice when the sun’s beatin’ down on it. But whatever you use, make sure it’s sturdy. You don’t want the whole thing comin’ down on you while you’re flippin’ burgers.
Now, about the plans. You can find all sorts of fancy plans online, with pictures and numbers and all that jazz. But honestly, most of them are just gibberish to me. I say, keep it simple. Just figure out how big you want it, how many green eggs you want, and where you want everything to go. Then, just start buildin’. It’s like makin’ a quilt, you just piece it together, one bit at a time.
And don’t forget about storage! You gotta have somewhere to put all your charcoal, your tongs, your aprons, and all that other stuff. You can build cabinets, or drawers, or just leave some open shelves. Whatever you do, just make sure it’s easy to get to, so you ain’t runnin’ around like a chicken with its head cut off when you need somethin’.
Buildin’ an outdoor kitchen ain’t rocket science. It’s just like any other project, you just gotta take it one step at a time. And don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you got a neighbor who knows a thing or two about buildin’, get him to lend a hand. And if you get stuck, just remember what my old pappy used to say: “A little bit of sweat never hurt nobody, ‘cept a lazy dog.” So get out there, and start buildin’! You’ll be surprised what you can do when you put your mind to it. You’ll be the envy of the whole neighborhood, cookin’ up ribs and briskets like a pro. And who knows, maybe you’ll even get invited to one of them fancy barbecue competitions. Just don’t forget where you came from, and always remember to share your bounty with your friends and neighbors. That’s what makes a community strong, like a good cup of coffee on a cold mornin’.
Last but not least, when you’re done with buildin’, clean up after yourselves! Don’t leave no mess for the critters to get into. And always remember to be careful when you’re cookin’ with fire. Keep a bucket of water handy, just in case. Safety first, that’s what I always say. And now, go on and get to work!
Tags: Green Egg Outdoor Kitchen, DIY Outdoor Kitchen, Outdoor Kitchen Plans, Big Green Egg, Kamado Joe
