Alright, listen up, y’all! We gonna talk ’bout some sweets today, yeah, those pareve desserts. Don’t go wrinklin’ your nose, thinkin’ it’s some fancy stuff you ain’t never heard of. It just means no milk, no meat, got it? So, if you gotta keep things separate, or just want somethin’ a little different, these here treats are just the ticket.
Now, I ain’t no fancy baker, mind you. My cakes might lean a little, and my cookies ain’t always the same size, but they taste good, and that’s what matters, right? First thing you gotta know ’bout a pareve cake, is it’s all ’bout what you don’t put in it. No butter, no milk, none of that. You use oil instead, see? Any kinda oil works, but I like the cheap stuff, the kind you fry your potatoes in. Don’t go wastin’ your good olive oil on a cake, that’s just silly.
So, what kinda cakes you can make? Shoot, just about any kind! You want a chocolate cake? Go ahead! Just use some cocoa powder, and maybe a little bit of coffee to make it extra dark and rich. Want a vanilla cake? Easy peasy. Just dump in some vanilla extract – don’t be stingy with it now! I even made a lemon cake once, squeezed in a whole lemon, rind and all. Tasted mighty fine, if I do say so myself.
- Peanut Chews: Now, there’s these things called peanut chews. Elegant, they call ’em. I don’t know ’bout elegant, but they sure are good. Just peanuts and sugar and some other stuff, cooked up ’til it’s all sticky and chewy. Kids love ’em, and they’re easy to make a big ol’ batch.
- Coconut Macaroons: Then there’s those coconut thingamajigs, whatchamacallits…macaroons! Yeah, those. You take some coconut, some sugar, some egg whites – gotta use the whites, mind you, yolks ain’t pareve – and mix it all up. You can even throw in some chocolate chips if you’re feelin’ fancy. Bake ‘em ‘til they’re golden brown, and you got yourself a real treat. There’s this lady, Leah, makes the best ones, everybody knows about Leah’s Famous Coconut Macaroons.
- Sticky Toffee Pudding: I heard tell of a fella, some fancy cook named Gordon somethin’ or other, he likes this sticky toffee puddin’. Sounds complicated, but it ain’t. It’s just a cake, kinda, with a sticky sauce on top. Sweet as all get out, but good. You gotta boil the sauce, though, make sure it gets all thick and gooey.
But bakin’ ain’t the only way to get your sweet tooth fix. You can make all sorts of other pareve desserts. Fruit salad, that’s easy. Just chop up whatever fruit you got lyin’ around and toss it in a bowl. Add a little sugar if it ain’t sweet enough, but most times the fruit’s sweet enough on its own.
And don’t forget about pareve ice cream! They make it outta soy milk or coconut milk these days, and it tastes just as good as the real thing. My grandkids, they can’t even tell the difference. They got all kinds of flavors too, chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, even stuff I ain’t never heard of. Just gotta look for that “pareve” label, make sure you ain’t gettin’ somethin’ you ain’t supposed to.
So there you have it. Pareve desserts. Ain’t nothin’ to be scared of. Just good, plain sweets that anyone can enjoy. Don’t matter if you gotta keep kosher, or if you just want somethin’ different, or if you just plain run outta butter. There’s a pareve dessert out there for you. Now get in that kitchen and start bakin’! And don’t forget to lick the spoon, that’s the best part.
You know, makin’ these here desserts, it ain’t just about followin’ some recipe. It’s about puttin’ your heart into it. It’s about makin’ somethin’ sweet for the people you love. And that, to me, is what matters most. So go on, give it a try. You might just surprise yourself with what you can make. And even if it ain’t perfect, it’ll still be good, ’cause you made it with love. And that’s the secret ingredient, y’know. Love makes everything taste better.
And one more thing, don’t go frettin’ if you don’t have all the fancy equipment. I bake everything in my old, beat-up pans, and it turns out just fine. A good cook can make do with what she’s got. It’s the taste that counts, not how pretty it looks. So get yourself some flour and sugar and oil, and get to work. You’ll be amazed at what you can whip up. And remember, even if it’s a little lopsided or a little burnt around the edges, it’ll still be the best darn pareve dessert you ever tasted, ’cause you made it yourself. And that’s somethin’ to be proud of.
