Alright, let’s talk about makin’ bread. You know, the real stuff, not that store-bought fluff. We’re gonna make some good ol’ wholemeal bread, the kind that sticks to your ribs and keeps ya goin’ all day. And we’re gonna use that fancy KitchenAid mixer, ’cause my hands ain’t what they used to be.
First things first, you gotta get your stuff together. That’s what my old man always said, “Get your stuff together, woman!” So, you need flour, the wholemeal kind, ya know, the brown stuff. Not that white stuff that’s got no flavor. Then you need yeast, the stuff that makes the bread rise. I like the fast-acting kind, ’cause I ain’t got all day to be waitin’ around. You also need some salt, sugar, a bit of oil, and some warm water. Not too hot, not too cold, just right, like baby bear’s porridge, you know?
Now, dump some of that flour into your KitchenAid bowl. How much? Eh, I dunno, a few scoops. Maybe three or four cups? You gotta eyeball it, see? Baking ain’t an exact science, it’s more like… well, it’s like makin’ stew. You throw in what feels right.
Then, you add your yeast. A packet, I guess. Or maybe a spoonful or two if you got that big jar of it. And a pinch of sugar, just to feed the yeast, get it goin’. And a good pinch of salt, too. Salt’s important, gives the bread flavor. Without salt, it’s just… bland. Like talkin’ to a wall.
- Flour – wholemeal, the brown kind
- Yeast – the fast-acting stuff
- Sugar – a pinch
- Salt – a good pinch
- Oil – a little bit
- Warm water – not too hot, not too cold
Next, pour in your warm water and a little bit of oil. Oil makes the bread soft, you see? Not too much, just a glug or two. Now, put that dough hook on your KitchenAid, the twisty thing, and turn that sucker on. Let it knead the dough for ya. That’s why you got that fancy machine, ain’t it? To save your old hands.
Let it knead for a good while, maybe ten minutes, maybe fifteen. Till it’s smooth and stretchy. You gotta feel it, see? It should be soft and pliable, like a baby’s bottom, but not sticky. If it’s too sticky, add a little more flour. If it’s too dry, add a little more water. It’s all about feelin’ it out.
Once the dough is ready, take it out of the bowl and put it in a greased bowl. Turn it over so it’s all coated in oil. Then cover it up with some plastic wrap or a damp cloth. Let it rise in a warm place for an hour or so, till it doubles in size. This is important, the rising. It’s what makes the bread light and fluffy.
Now, some folks say that wholemeal bread don’t rise as much as white bread. Says it’s denser. Well, maybe so, but it’s still good for ya. Fills ya up, ya know? Keeps ya goin’. And that’s what matters.
After the dough has risen, punch it down. Yeah, just punch it right in the middle. Get all the air out. Then, shape it into a loaf. You can make it round or oval, whatever you like. I like to put it in a loaf pan, makes it look nice and tidy. But you can just put it on a baking sheet if you want.
Let it rise again for another half hour or so, till it’s puffy. Then, bake it in a hot oven, about 375 degrees, for maybe 30 or 40 minutes. Till it’s golden brown and sounds hollow when you tap it. That’s how you know it’s done.
Take it out of the oven and let it cool on a wire rack. Don’t cut into it right away, or it’ll be all gummy. Let it cool completely, or at least mostly cool. Then slice it up and slather it with butter. Or jam. Or whatever you like. Homemade whole wheat bread. Nothin’ better. And it’s good for you, too. Got all that fiber and what not. Keeps you regular, if you know what I mean.
Making bread with a KitchenAid mixer is easy peasy. Saves your arms, that’s for sure. And you get a good loaf of bread, every time. So, go on, try it. You might just surprise yourself. And if you mess it up the first time, so what? Try again. That’s how you learn. Like my old man always said, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Though he was mostly talkin’ about fixin’ the tractor.
This whole wheat bread is good for sandwiches, too. You know, for lunch. Or for breakfast, with some eggs and bacon. Or just with a cup of coffee. It’s good anytime. And it’ll keep you full and energized all day long. So, get yourself a KitchenAid, get some flour, and get bakin’. You won’t regret it.
