Alright, alright, let’s get this straight. You wanna make some of that fancy California pizza, huh? I ain’t no chef, mind you, just a plain ol’ woman who knows her way around the kitchen. But pizza dough? That ain’t so hard. Even I can whip it up, and if I can do it, so can you.
First things first, you need flour. Don’t go gettin’ all fancy on me with them special flours. Just your regular flour is fine. All-purpose flour, they call it. But, if you wanna be a little extra, get some of that bread flour too. Mix ’em together, half and half. That’s what the folks say makes it strong but still fluffy, ya know?
- All-Purpose Flour
- Bread Flour
Now, yeast. That’s the stuff that makes it rise. You can get the little packets or the jar kind. Don’t matter much. Just make sure it ain’t too old. Old yeast is like an old mule, it just don’t work right. You gotta warm up some water, not too hot, not too cold, just right. Like baby’s bathwater, they say. Sprinkle a little sugar in there, or honey if you’re feeling fancy. Honey makes it brown up nice, so I hear. Then dump in your yeast and let it sit a spell. It’ll get all foamy, like a good beer.
Water Temperature is important, remember that. Too hot and you kill the yeast, too cold and it won’t wake up.
Next, you dump your flour in a big bowl. Make a little well in the middle, like a bird’s nest, and pour in your yeast water. Add a little salt, don’t forget the salt! Food without salt is like life without sunshine, all dull and gloomy. And a little bit of oil, too. Just a splash. Helps keep it from stickin’, I reckon.
Now, the fun part, or maybe the messy part, depends on how you look at it. You gotta mix it all together. Use your hands, get in there good! It’ll be sticky at first, but keep kneadin’ it. Push it, fold it, turn it. Like you’re kneadin’ bread, that’s how it is. Keep doin’ that for a good ten minutes or so. Your arms will get tired, but it’s worth it. The dough will get smooth and elastic, like a baby’s bottom, they say. Though I ain’t never kneaded no baby’s bottom, mind you.
Once it’s all kneaded, you gotta let it rise. Grease up a bowl, put the dough in, and cover it up. Let it sit in a warm place for an hour or so. It’ll double in size, like magic. But it ain’t magic, it’s just yeast doin’ its thing.
After it’s risen, you punch it down. Yeah, you heard me right, punch it! Get all your frustrations out on that dough. Then you can shape it. For California pizza, they say you want a thin crust. So, roll it out thin, or stretch it out with your hands. Don’t worry if it ain’t perfect. Perfect is boring, I always say.
Now, the toppings, that’s where you can get creative. California pizza, they put all sorts of things on it. Chicken, artichoke hearts, peanut sauce, even that Nutella stuff, if you can believe it. Me, I like to keep it simple. Some tomato sauce, some cheese, maybe some onions and peppers. But you do you, honey. It’s your pizza.
Once you got your toppings on, you gotta bake it. Hot oven, real hot. 450 degrees, they say. Bake it for 10-15 minutes, or until the crust is golden brown and the cheese is all bubbly and melted. Keep a close eye on it, though. You don’t want it to burn.
And that’s it! That’s how you make pizza dough. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Now go on and make yourself a delicious California Style Pizza. You deserve it. And don’t forget to share, sharing is caring they say, though sometimes I just want it all for myself.
Remember, good pizza starts with good dough. And good dough starts with good ingredients and a little bit of love. So, put on some music, get in the kitchen, and have some fun. And if it doesn’t turn out perfect the first time, don’t worry. Just try again. Even I messed up a few times before I got it right. And let me tell you, there’s nothin’ quite like a homemade pizza, warm and fresh out of the oven. It’s a real comfort food, like those bierocks they talk about, fills you right up and makes you feel good inside. So go ahead, give it a try. You might just surprise yourself.
And if you’re ever in Columbus, Ohio, they say there’s a hundred things to do there. Maybe you can find a good pizza place, or maybe you can try making that French onion chaat, whatever that is. Sounds fancy, but I bet it ain’t as good as a good ol’ homemade pizza.
Now I’m hungry. Think I’ll go make myself a pizza. Maybe I’ll even try that chicken soup, what do they call it, caldo de pollo, on the side. A little bit of Mexican flavor with my California pizza. Why not, right?
