The Shopping Mess
So yeah, been craving some decent Asian food lately, but the decent spots are way out near downtown. Figured why not try making something myself? Title’s fancy, but honestly? Just wanted something yummy without driving 30 minutes. Headed to that big supermarket, you know the one.
Saw this packet labeled “Yama Fuji Stir-fry Sauce” near the tofu. Grabbed that, some chicken thighs cause they’re cheaper, and whatever veggies looked okay – broccoli florets that were half yellow (hoping it’s fine?), carrots, a lone bell pepper looking kinda sad. Forgot snow peas. Totally blanked. Eggs for fried rice later. That checkout line? Brutal. Stood there like 15 minutes.
Prepping Chaos
Back home, the tiny kitchen feels smaller. First step? Cut the darn chicken. Fat chunks everywhere. My knife skills? Laughable. Felt like a caveman hacking away. Broccoli needed cutting too. Those little trees are messy! Rice went into the cooker, thank god that part’s easy.
Tried to get all fancy slicing the carrots thin. Ended up with some weird thick chunks and paper-thin shavings. Bell pepper strips? More like uneven chunks. My “mise en place” was just two sad bowls – one with the half-yellow broccoli, the other with the chicken mess. Sauce packet sat there judging me. Should’ve marinated the chicken, huh? Too late now.
Fire and Fury in the Wok
Okay, wok time. Heat blasting on my stupid electric stove. Can’t get it hot enough, feels wrong. Dump some oil in. Throw in the chicken. Instant splatter! Oil flying everywhere. I yelped. Chicken sticks almost immediately to the bottom. Scraping noises fill the kitchen.
- Chicken sorta cooked? Added the sauce packet – gloopy brown stuff.
- Looks weird. Threw in the veggies. More splatter!
- Broccoli still rock hard? Added a splash of water, put the lid on. Steam explosion!
Fried rice felt like a war after that. Cold rice clumps, leftover peas/corn mix from the freezer. Eggs? Cracked one into the hot oil… turned into weird scrambled bits instantly. Soy sauce went everywhere. Kitchen smelled strongly of smoke now.
The Verdict
Finally. Two plates of something vaguely stir-fry colored. Chicken pieces unevenly cooked. Veggies a mix of mushy carrots and still-crunchy broccoli. Rice is sticky and soy-sauce heavy.
Took a bite.
Meh.
It tastes… okay? Sauce packet mostly just sweet and salty. Chicken a bit tough. Rice weirdly wet. Doesn’t taste like any “Yama Fuji” I imagined. More like “Weeknight Desperation”. Neighbor’s dog probably wouldn’t even want it. Lesson learned? Stick to takeout for the good stuff, or practice waaaay more. Maybe start with just rice?
